Awww...

My adoption cyberbuddy Dawn has posted a picture of EmmaLi on her blog, wearing the little romper I got for her. Check it out!!!
I really hope some day I get to meet Dawn, Emmali and the rest of the family!!!

Warm Fuzzies

No, I am not talking about my dogs. I've already told you about EmmaLi, and her mom Dawn. I "met" Dawn on line when we were both struggling to be DTC. She and her family found EmmaLi as a waiting child, and EmmaLi has been home in the Midwest for a bit now. I have been meaning to send EmmaLi something forever, and recently finally got my act together. I sent a blanket, romper, and socks from Gymboree, and a panda hand puppet from ChinaSprout...I am ashamed to say that I am sterotypically all about the pandas! Anyway, Monday I received a thank you note from Dawn, and she sent me some pics of EmmaLi opening the package.



Adorable, isn't she? It makes me so happy to be able to send something to this family. Dawn and I have ummm...complained...to each other about the long process to get our dossiers together...waiting for the damn I-171 was a killer. Then she found EmmaLi and still had to wait along time for pre-approval and travel approval while on the other side of the world EmmaLi waited for her family in an orphanage.

And even though Dawn must be simply swamped with a new daughter, she takes the time to remember that we are still waiting and offer her sweet wishes. This is from her thank-you note:

It is so much fun having a toddler around here, my greatest wish for you is that the referrals would finally speed up so that Bella can come home where SHE BELONGS!!!
She will be worth what ever the wait is though, hang in there, she will be home soon and that is where she will stay!!! I will be crying so many tears when I finally see that sweet face pop up on my computer screen, she is such a loved little girl by so many from around the world hopefully she can feel it right now, I know Emma did (and still does)!!!

Sigh. I'm down with that!!!

Now that's what I'm talking about!

I just got a comment on my cartoon character post below ... Sparky tells me that I look like a cartoon character from the Flintstones, but NOT Pebbles. She and her hubby Bob think I look like Ann Magrock. Well, I couldn't remember her, so I had to check it out...don't you just love the Internet?!



I'll take it!!! Now, what does it say about my marriage that my husband thinks I look like Pebbles, and my adoption buddies think I look like this chick???
I am crushin' on Sparky's husband even more than I was before now...

This is very up-lifting to me since I am currently in tax hell. Never mind that my arm is bigger than Ann Magrock's waist...I am takin' the compliment!!!

Umm, do I look like a cartoon character???

Two separate but related incidents. Yesterday was a very busy day for me, and I had to go to Boston City Hall and meet with some folks for the internship program I supervise. It was pretty windy in the morning, so I decided to put my hair up, out of my face, where it had limited ability to get in my face when the wind blows. Last night, Tim arrives home from work, looks at me, and notices my hair, which is unusual. He giggles and says:

"You Look Like Pebbles. Bam Bam!!!"



I am sorry, BUT THERE'S NO BONE IN MY HAIR!!!

The funny thing is, and Tim doesn't know this, is that I had two nicknames in high school...one of which was Pebbles. The other was "Cheer Bear", after the Care Bear with the rainbow on its tummy.



Yep, those nicknames are both listed in my high school yearbook. Tim has never noticed because he can't get past laughing at my picture. You know Sally Jessy Raphael's big red plastic glasses? Yeah, I had those.



And in an attempt to manage my hair in the pre-gel days, I used to stick big rollers in it, which kind of gave it a wavy pageboy do.



I also hated the photographer, who kept giving me the finger in an attempt to make me laugh. Hysterical.

Today, I am roaming the halls of my dept., and a fellow professor told me that I reminded him of Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. Totally out of the blue. Hello? Do I have a tail? Am I orange?



One commonality I see is these characters all have at least one arm up in the air. Mmmm, am I a flailing lunatic?
Or just a lunatic?
What are these people trying to tell me???

Referral Rumor Blues

Well, there are more than the usual number of rumors flying about the net.

The first, and most depressing, is that this next batch of referral will contain referrals only for those with LIDs up to May 30th or May 31st. This would be just a few days worth of referrals.

The second rumor is that those dossiers with October LIDs are now in the review room. In one way, this is good...we have a November LID, so we could be in the review room in another month or so. The bad news is the increasing gap between when a dossier is in the review room, and when a family receives a referral.

You could drive yourself insane speculating on this stuff. Nonetheless, we all continue to do it!

My new favorite cartoon

Ok, so Tim and I are both huge fans of "Get Fuzzy", and Bucky Katt in particular. But I have a new cartoon love. A couple in the Northwest adopted a lovely boy from China last year named Hui-Hui. Well, his favorite toy is a stuffed animal that has been dubbed "Stinky Mouse". Hui-Hui's father is very net savvy, and has discovered how to design a cartoon using existing photographs. The cartoon is funny and touching. Great Stuff! Check it out!!!

Blog Cloud

Thanks to Karen over at GwenBlog (sorry...this blog is now password protected), who steered her readers to this website...Here is the Murphy Adoption Adventure Blog Cloud...a mish mash of words directly from the blog text. I was excited (and a bit surprised) to see so many positive words generated!!!

Another family united.

Back in January, when our little New England adoptive families group had its first potluck around CNY, Tim and I met a British couple, Deborah and Simon. Their agency is CAWLI as well, and they had just received their referral for a beautiful little girl they named Lulu. Well, guess what? Today, Deborah and Simon are in China, and they were just united with their daughter. And she's a beauty. Check it out.

Contented Sigh. Wow. We were just talking to this couple, admiring their referral pictures. Wow. And now they have their daughter. Wow. Wow. Wow.

It happens when it happens.

Yeah, I just want it to happen NOW. But it's wonderful to see that it does happen, and to people that we've actually met pre-China.

Wow.

The Snot Monster.

This is my husband's new nickname for me. Lovely, isn't it? Can you see why I love being married to him? Despite the nickname, I am slowly starting to be presentable to the outside world. My hearing is still affected, but not terribly...I can hear Tim's terms of endearment, unfortunately!

On Friday I left the house to go to the post office (woo hoo), walked the dogs around the entire block, and did some dreaded grading. On Saturday I went to the gym in the morning. When I came home, I needed a nap, which I took while Tim grocery shopped. Later that evening we met up with friends Howard and Caryn for dinner, and got to tour their new apt. This morning was an exciting trip to Barnes and Noble, Pier 1 Imports and Linens and Things. I spied what I thought were some great looking tea cups at Pier 1, and proceeded to haul 4 of them to the cash register. Then the clerk tells me "Uh, those aren't cups...they are candleholders...see here how this label says they might be poisonous?". Apparently, they have lead in them.

Now, can you see why I thought they were tea cups?!



This leads Tim to say the following on the way out to the car:

"What are you tryin' to do, poison me, woman?
Uhh, Tim stupid.
Tim don't know why".

Yep, you can see why I love him. Mmmm.

Now, back to the dreaded grading...

Some fun things from Blogthings

I am in no mood for creative posts. Since I still can't hear well, I am home AGAIN...no computer workshop for me. I did come across this neat site called Blogthings.

Here is the fruit of my morning of playing around:

Your 2005 Song Is

Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson "But since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time I'm so moving on" In 2005, you moved on.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Hmmm. I thought I moved on in 2002 when I separated from my first husband, but heck, I'll take it since I really like this song.

You Should Get a MD (Doctor of Medicine)

You're both compassionate and brilliant - a rare combination. You were born to be a doctor.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Yes! Compassionate and brillant! I'll take that! And I have always had the fantasy of becoming a doctor...but thought that was because I have watched too much ER, House, and Grey's Anatomy.

You Are Olive Green

You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself. For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself. You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you. People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.

What Color Green Are You?

OK, at first, I was like "Olive Green? Ewwww." But it says nice stuff. Yay!!! Although I am not sure about the "grounded and secure" part...I always think of Tim as the level one.

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Sad, but true.

Your Hair Should Be Red

Passionate, fiery, and sassy. You're a total smart aleck who's got the biggest personality around.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Well, that worked out well! I guess Mother Nature knew what she was doing. Although Tim is definitely more "smart-aleck-y" than me.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Hmmm. Yep, I am definitely curious. I may be able to be reasonable, but I often choose not to be. Definitely can get down in the dumps, especially after being home sick for 6 days, being totally unproductive. Now I have to get Tim to take this test! And I am off to attempt to do something productive...

Icky, Icky Girl.

Remember when you were a kid, and stayed home sick from school? When you were sick, but not REALLY sick? I do. OK, there were a few times when I was really really sick...pneumonia, mono, chicken pox and all that fun stuff. But for the most part staying home from school meant two things:

1. I could read as much as I wanted by bribing my brother to go to the nearby library and get more books for me. Heck, the librarian there knew me so well, he could pick out books for me.

2. TV and more TV. I am talking the Love Boat, folks. How great was that show?

So, on Friday, I was thinking "OK, I'm sick...I'll chill in front of the TV, and in a few days I'll feel OK and get back to my life". Friday came. Saturday came. Sunday came. It was the most boring weekend ever. I couldn't get into TV and I was too sick to read. I even stayed off the Internet. I have been sleeping in the guest room because I am so gross that I don't want to be near my husband...or infect him.
My new diet consists of ginger ale, tea, oatmeal, soup and a lot of NyQuil.

Monday I broke down and asked Tim to drive me to the doctor's. Except I forgot the exact road my doctor's office was on. Rte 9, Rte 16, same thing, right? Long story short, I've got an ear infection...and now I've got antibiotics, so hopefully I'm on the mend. I did not think it was possible for one human being to contain so much mucus.

My big decision is whether I want to attempt a day long session tomorrow on the new online course management system the Univ. is adopting. Just when I had gotten the hang of the old one. Since I did not make it out of my PJs today, and am still walking around with my new accessory, the Kleenex box, I am not terribly optimistic.

I am disgusting.

Disgustingly sick that is. Yesterday I had a hard time getting up at 5:15am and slept til 6am, which gave me just enough time to get ready, drive to work, deal with a few students, and arrive to teach my 8:30am class. By the afternoon, I felt really icky. I gave an exam at 11:30am and was trying to read Collapse during the exam, but it was I who really wanted to collapse. I dragged myself to the gym with Tim in the evening, and actually completed the full workout, although it was a pathetic showing on the chin-ups. Then I ate a bowl of soup, watched American Idol (Tim and I are overjoyed that Bucky is still in the running) and went to bed. Today I slept til 9am, am about to take a shower, and camp out in front of TNT's primetime in the daytime.

Just in time for my spring break from the university. Me and all my grand plans: get caught up on grading, do some research, figure out what to do with an article that I am having a hard time finding a home for, prepare for a talk I am giving in early April, clean up our place, and maybe even attack my boxes o' junk that are still sitting in Isabella's soon to be nursery.

So, I wanted to blog about last Saturday's potluck at Sparky's, post pics, and all that jazz. Instead I am just going to lay my mucus filled head down.

CCAA Update

The CCAA has recently updated its website, and all dossiers with July Log In Dates (LIDs) have been reviewed. This means that they are on the way to the matching room. Of course, we don't know how long they will be there, since all the familes with late May LIDs and June LIDS have not yet received their referrals.

So, speculation...if dossiers move through the review room roughly one month at a time per month, families with November LIDs (that's Us) will be in the review room in June. But again, this is only speculation. Some folks out there are hopeful that CCAA will start doubling up on months of referrals, but I am less hopeful about that.

On a better note, I came across an interesting web site via one of my Yahoo groups. There is an amazing family out there: a couple has three older boys that are nearly grown and they adopted a cleft affected girl named Jayden from China. The family is now waiting on another child from China, to be called Gracie. I love the pictures of Jayden horsing around with her brothers. This is their story: the Zingaro Family Website. Click on "Waiting" to see the slideshow!

A mother without a baby

As we continue to wait for Isabella, an image keeps popping into my mind. If you watched the show Friends, you might remember Chandler Bing (one of the greatest TV characters ever) trying to convince an expecting young birth mother that he and Monica were the ones to parent her child. He said something like "My wife's the most amazing woman, and it kills me that I can't give her a child. She's a mother without a baby".

That's how I feel these days.

I think about whether Isabella has been born yet, and if she is, whether or not she is well cared for. I hope she knows love.

I wonder what she looks like, of course. Will she be smiling in her referral picture, or will she look so sad that it will break our hearts? Will she smile in her first few days with us? What will her laugh sound like? What will her cries sound like?

I wonder about what she might need now and what she will need as she spends her first days with us. I think about what Tim will look like holding his daughter his daughter for the first time, and if I'll ever be able to describe that moment. I wonder whether the timing will work out so that Isabella's uncle, the "Toddfather", will be able to go to China with us...what it will be like if we get to see Todd hold his niece in her homeland. I think about watching her sleep for the first time, and I imagine how many times I will check just to make sure she's breathing. What she will smell like, what her little baby feet will look like. I think about that long plane ride home. About how long it might be until we feel she is ready to meet her grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousins that live in Minnesota.

I think about what it will be like to go to sleep every night, and instead of dreaming about her like I do now, I'll wake up knowing that I am a mother, that we have been given this amazing little person. I think about Tim and I growing old and even sillier together, as Isabella grows up and groans about how corny her parents are. And I hope she smiles with love as she groans with embarrassment.

But for now I am still a mother without a baby.