A his (SchnauzerKing) and her (Redheaded Chick) blog about life during our long wait for our first child and our journey to China to bring Isabella into our family from Chongqing City.
DAUGHTER
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Those crazy dogs.
This is a video taken the week Tim and I were vacationing in Acadia National Park - the last week in August. We rented a house in Southwest Harbor THAT ALLOWED DOGS!!! Loved that! This is Indie and Buca's chase each other around routine, which goes on several times per day.
All of you in the adoption community know of Stephen Curtis Chapman. For those that don't know him, he's a musician. He and his wife have three biological children and three daughters that were adopted from China. The Chapman family are big adoption advocates. Chapman is also active in church ministry, and engages the church in his adoption work. This video speaks to his feelings about adoption. It also makes me cry. I thought some of my readers might enjoy seeing it, and so it's here.
There are a lot of people that choose to adopt a child because they believe that they are "saving" a child. I don't know if Chapman believes that or not. I do know that I've never believed that. Tim and I want a family, and we simply came to the conclusion that adopting a child from China was the best way for us to begin building a family. Our motivations are purely selfish. It sometimes makes me uncomfortable when people comment on what a wonderful thing we are doing, and I usually respond with "We just want to build a family". There are no heroes here.
Do I think God "called" me to adoption? Yes and no. I believe in God, but I also believe that a relationship with God is a personal thing that can exist with or without organized religion. I have no desire to get others to believe. I also don't believe that God sends or gives me direct messages. However, I've always known that I could love a child as my own, regardless of whether or not I gave birth to him or her. I also understand the population pressures that some developing countries feel, even if I don't always agree with specific policies that result. The bottom line for me was that there are kids out there without permanent families, and giving birth was not a necessary condition for me to become a mother.
My partnership with Tim turned out to be one that could not easily produce biological children. Did God send me a message to adopt? Definitely not. Have the circumstances of my life been shaped by God such that I ended up pursuing adoption because somehow I knew, possibly because of the grace of God, it was right for me? Perhaps. I don't know.
I do know what it feels like to be lost, to be searching for a place that can rightfully be called home, which is why I named my private blog "Finding Family". And I am happy that we will be able to give Isabella that, and she will be able to give us that. In spite of all my worries about "breaking my baby", I do believe that Tim and I have our stuff together enough that Isabella will grow to know that she always has a safe home. That she always has a family.
There are a lot of things that I ended up "being" or "doing" because they made sense or felt right at the time...I became a wife, I became an economist, I became a professor. But I didn't NEED to be any of these things. The only thing I've ever felt I needed was to be a mother. It's one of the few things I've ever been certain of. So, in the end, Isabella will be saving me.
I am not an easy person. I'd like to be, but I am just not. I am kind of a bulldozer. When I am on a mission, get outta my way, or you're going down!
Recently there has been some upheaval in Chez Murphy. My brother has not been feeling well, and so for a bit, he's living with us. He's been with us since Friday.
My brother is a lot like me in some ways. He's not an easy person. I love him, but he can be tough to deal with...Interacting with him is kind of like walking a tightrope, and us bulldozers aren't real graceful.
Since last week, pretty much 99% of my mind is occupied with thoughts of my brother and how to best help him. I feel powerless. So, I call Tim yesterday, give him the latest update on little bro, and launch into how "I REALLY NEED SOME HELP". Ya know...with the small stuff...trash, toilet bowl cleaning, vacuuming, etc. The stuff that can send you over the cliff when you are tottering on the edge.
Tim could have pointed out how he does his fair share of the housework. He could have pointed out that I, myself, am no domestic diva. He could have pointed out that I tend to agonize and get frustrated over things that I can't change, especially when it comes to little bro. All of those responses would have been reasonable. But guess what? He didn't do any of that.
He said "OK. I get it." And because he said that, I could joke about how I ought to come with an advisory warning system similar to the one Homeland Security has for terrorism. Red Alert! Severe Risk! Tammy may whack out at any moment!
I feel the need for a shout-out to Tim's colleague Cynthia (who reads this blog to stock up on Tim dirt)...a big thank you for the baby care books you recently gave to Tim on his last trip to DC! Trust me, we need them!!!
And Cynthia, everything you read here about Tim is true...at least the posts that I write, anyway!
The kid now has more clothes than me. I am convinced of that. And like me, we have no idea what size she's going to be. Hey, most chicks have three or more sizes in their closets, so why should Isabella be any different.
Here is a little short set Tim's sister Tina and her family bought for Bella. It's a size 3T, so we know that will fit at some point. We also received some great bibs from Tina and her family when they were out here in August.
An aside: We understand the objection to Nike's labor practices. Let me say that this is a gift from our family, and we appreciate it. So no nasty comments, please.
Recently I got a new secret pal and she sent this adorable outfit.
Is it bad that I am jealous of all the cute clothes?
First, a note of apology to those of you that read my Finding Family blog...I've already posted about this there.
Some good news has come our way: the CCAA website has confirmed that families with dossiers that were logged in by November 30, 2005 are out of the review room. This means our file has moved into the "matching room". Yes, it will collect dust there for quite some time. But it has moved, and I'll take what I can get right now.
And now, onto getting re-fingerprinted and a homestudy update. Can you tell how excited I am?
