Hanging with the 'rents.
Tim's parents, that is. Royal and Karen arrived on Wednesday from Minnesota last week and left this morning. It was a really nice visit. They got to see the house we bought for the first time (along with everything that needs to be done to it)and hang with their granddogs.
Wednesday we pretty much hung out...made dinner, and watched "Failure to Launch",which wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be. It's cute and light. Kind of like Sarah Jessica Parker.
On Thursday, it took us a while to get going. One of the most striking differences between Tim's family and myself is that we operate at really different paces. I like to make a quick decision and get moving. Tim's family is happy to GRADUALLY make a decision and GRADUALLY get going. Also, they are not really big on taking the initiative for what they would like to do, whereas I would have already sent a list with at least 10 possibilities and the associated websites (as my brother-in-law knows). I think Tim's parents are trying to be nice, easy guests. Yet, I worry about doing things that they will enjoy. Also, a bit of New Englander pride comes out in me...I love NE, think Boston is a beautiful city, and so I want them to see all that. So, this can make things challenging. Yes, my in-laws read this blog...and I am not worried, because none of this will come as a surprise to them.
Last weekend asked them what they would like to do when they arrived and they gave us the usual response "Whatever you want to do", followed by "...Have a nice relaxing time". I know that this is my father-in-law's code for TV watching and card playing, so I scream into the phone handset, which is in Tim's hand,
"Tammy doesn't like to relax". That's not entirely true, but for the most part, relaxing for me means getting to go places and see things I don't normally have time for.
It's not easy for Royal to walk long distances, and he doesn't like musuems. They were not up for the beach. There were no movies out that they were interested in seeing. So, Thursday, at 11:15am I finally said "We are leaving in 15 minutes. I don't care where we go, but we are going SOMEWHERE". Tim's dad chose Foxwoods. So off to Foxwoods, where I try to kill time without spending any money. I really can't bear the thought of throwing away money, which is inevitable since I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS lose. And there is something about casinos that always strikes me as sad, although I know many would disagree and many people are able to visit for occasional entertainment and then walk away. I played about $5.00 on a slot machine called "Texas Tina" in honor of my sister-in-law Tina, but "Texas Tina" did me bad. I also played the "Kenny Rogers Gambler" slot and when I left, Kenny's voice says "Thanks for playing". He really should say "Thanks for paying, sucker". As usual, Tim's mom won some money, and so she treated us to lunch. I wish I knew her secret...I've been to a casino maybe 5 times total in my life, at least three of those times with her, and she has won every single time. We all benefit from her luck and generousity. Which is good, since the rest of us all lose.
On Thursday night, my dear friend Carla came over and the five of us headed to the annual lantern festival in Forest Hills Cemetary. This was my favorite part of the day. It is the first year I attended, and it's a wonderful event. Tim and I made a lantern for our grandmothers (we each had a grandmother pass away this year), and Karen made a lantern for her sister-in-law Jan (Tim's aunt). Jan was one of these people that you feel instantly comfortable with, and her loss will always be felt. Goddamn cancer strikes again. Then we met up with friends Anne and Marty (waiting for their daughter) and Cheryl and Bruce (waiting for their daughter). It was a beautiful night...the cemetary is gorgeous, and it was very touching to see all these people making lanterns for someone and setting them afloat. I am also glad that my in-laws got to meet some of the folks we hang with. Kikalee and Sparky, we missed you!!! And finally, almost anything is more fun if Carla comes with you. I think Royal and Karen got a charge out of her, since by the end of the night Royal and Carla were flirting.
Friday, we were up and out early. Alrighty!!! We went into Boston on the T. Tim's parents are not big fans of the T; Royal starts asking when he is getting off as soon as he gets on. And I have to say admit it was as hot as hell in some of the stations on Friday. Then...whale watching. I hadn't been on a whale watch in years, and I really enjoyed it. We saw both humpback and fin whales. Then it was off to eat a late lunch at the Kingfish Hall, which is yummy. Then back home, where we watched "March of the Penguins".
Saturday was a low key day. Tim and I had our kickboxing class in the morning...that is a whole other post...I have to tell you about Emily. And my stomach. But I digress...Tim's parents watched the dogs while we were in class, and Karen weeded our garden for us. What a deal! Then to church, and a early dinner afterwards.
We left for the airport at 4:30AM on Sunday morning, and then they were gone.
Here's the thing. I am not good at family. I wish I was, but honestly, it's a little foreign to me. Tim and I grew up in polar opposite environments. I have neither spoken nor heard the words "I love you" from either of my parents in years. I am not used to the whole hanging out with the fam thing. For the most part, my parents are not interested in how I am ... they are interested in telling me how they are. Or, in the case of my dad, the last time I heard how he was doing was over three years ago. At that time, I gave him my business card with my work number and email on it, and he said "Oh, you're a professor?" And I said "Yeah...who knew?" So it's a little weird to have parents around, asking questions about our lives, taking us out to eat, taking an interest in our friends, weeding our garden, etc.
Karen met our neighbor and said "It's nice to see where the kids bought a house". And I am thinking "Kids?...Who is she talking about?" And then I realize that Tim and I are the kids...that this is how Royal and Karen see us. And as foreign as it is to me, it's kind of nice to be thought of as a kid, or even better, as someone's kid.
So, here's the thing. No, I am not a big fan of Tim's small hometown in Minnesota. I am pretty sure if I lived there I would end up playing Jack Nicholson's psycho accomplice in The Shining. There are NO coffee shops, people. Everyone looks like everyone else. Everyone knows everyone else. And our little nephew Ben thinks his tan, French grandma is African American. And no, I am not big into spray cheese in a can, golf, watching TV, handheld poker games, playing cards, pulling tabs at the VFW and the like. And no, I am not a woman that likes to chat on the phone, whose nails and toenails always match, who wears a Christmas vest every year, who drinks white zinfindahl.
But I am a woman who knows that Isabella is going to have one wonderful set of grandparents.
Wednesday we pretty much hung out...made dinner, and watched "Failure to Launch",which wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be. It's cute and light. Kind of like Sarah Jessica Parker.
On Thursday, it took us a while to get going. One of the most striking differences between Tim's family and myself is that we operate at really different paces. I like to make a quick decision and get moving. Tim's family is happy to GRADUALLY make a decision and GRADUALLY get going. Also, they are not really big on taking the initiative for what they would like to do, whereas I would have already sent a list with at least 10 possibilities and the associated websites (as my brother-in-law knows). I think Tim's parents are trying to be nice, easy guests. Yet, I worry about doing things that they will enjoy. Also, a bit of New Englander pride comes out in me...I love NE, think Boston is a beautiful city, and so I want them to see all that. So, this can make things challenging. Yes, my in-laws read this blog...and I am not worried, because none of this will come as a surprise to them.
Last weekend asked them what they would like to do when they arrived and they gave us the usual response "Whatever you want to do", followed by "...Have a nice relaxing time". I know that this is my father-in-law's code for TV watching and card playing, so I scream into the phone handset, which is in Tim's hand,
"Tammy doesn't like to relax". That's not entirely true, but for the most part, relaxing for me means getting to go places and see things I don't normally have time for.
It's not easy for Royal to walk long distances, and he doesn't like musuems. They were not up for the beach. There were no movies out that they were interested in seeing. So, Thursday, at 11:15am I finally said "We are leaving in 15 minutes. I don't care where we go, but we are going SOMEWHERE". Tim's dad chose Foxwoods. So off to Foxwoods, where I try to kill time without spending any money. I really can't bear the thought of throwing away money, which is inevitable since I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS lose. And there is something about casinos that always strikes me as sad, although I know many would disagree and many people are able to visit for occasional entertainment and then walk away. I played about $5.00 on a slot machine called "Texas Tina" in honor of my sister-in-law Tina, but "Texas Tina" did me bad. I also played the "Kenny Rogers Gambler" slot and when I left, Kenny's voice says "Thanks for playing". He really should say "Thanks for paying, sucker". As usual, Tim's mom won some money, and so she treated us to lunch. I wish I knew her secret...I've been to a casino maybe 5 times total in my life, at least three of those times with her, and she has won every single time. We all benefit from her luck and generousity. Which is good, since the rest of us all lose.
On Thursday night, my dear friend Carla came over and the five of us headed to the annual lantern festival in Forest Hills Cemetary. This was my favorite part of the day. It is the first year I attended, and it's a wonderful event. Tim and I made a lantern for our grandmothers (we each had a grandmother pass away this year), and Karen made a lantern for her sister-in-law Jan (Tim's aunt). Jan was one of these people that you feel instantly comfortable with, and her loss will always be felt. Goddamn cancer strikes again. Then we met up with friends Anne and Marty (waiting for their daughter) and Cheryl and Bruce (waiting for their daughter). It was a beautiful night...the cemetary is gorgeous, and it was very touching to see all these people making lanterns for someone and setting them afloat. I am also glad that my in-laws got to meet some of the folks we hang with. Kikalee and Sparky, we missed you!!! And finally, almost anything is more fun if Carla comes with you. I think Royal and Karen got a charge out of her, since by the end of the night Royal and Carla were flirting.
Friday, we were up and out early. Alrighty!!! We went into Boston on the T. Tim's parents are not big fans of the T; Royal starts asking when he is getting off as soon as he gets on. And I have to say admit it was as hot as hell in some of the stations on Friday. Then...whale watching. I hadn't been on a whale watch in years, and I really enjoyed it. We saw both humpback and fin whales. Then it was off to eat a late lunch at the Kingfish Hall, which is yummy. Then back home, where we watched "March of the Penguins".
Saturday was a low key day. Tim and I had our kickboxing class in the morning...that is a whole other post...I have to tell you about Emily. And my stomach. But I digress...Tim's parents watched the dogs while we were in class, and Karen weeded our garden for us. What a deal! Then to church, and a early dinner afterwards.
We left for the airport at 4:30AM on Sunday morning, and then they were gone.
Here's the thing. I am not good at family. I wish I was, but honestly, it's a little foreign to me. Tim and I grew up in polar opposite environments. I have neither spoken nor heard the words "I love you" from either of my parents in years. I am not used to the whole hanging out with the fam thing. For the most part, my parents are not interested in how I am ... they are interested in telling me how they are. Or, in the case of my dad, the last time I heard how he was doing was over three years ago. At that time, I gave him my business card with my work number and email on it, and he said "Oh, you're a professor?" And I said "Yeah...who knew?" So it's a little weird to have parents around, asking questions about our lives, taking us out to eat, taking an interest in our friends, weeding our garden, etc.
Karen met our neighbor and said "It's nice to see where the kids bought a house". And I am thinking "Kids?...Who is she talking about?" And then I realize that Tim and I are the kids...that this is how Royal and Karen see us. And as foreign as it is to me, it's kind of nice to be thought of as a kid, or even better, as someone's kid.
So, here's the thing. No, I am not a big fan of Tim's small hometown in Minnesota. I am pretty sure if I lived there I would end up playing Jack Nicholson's psycho accomplice in The Shining. There are NO coffee shops, people. Everyone looks like everyone else. Everyone knows everyone else. And our little nephew Ben thinks his tan, French grandma is African American. And no, I am not big into spray cheese in a can, golf, watching TV, handheld poker games, playing cards, pulling tabs at the VFW and the like. And no, I am not a woman that likes to chat on the phone, whose nails and toenails always match, who wears a Christmas vest every year, who drinks white zinfindahl.
But I am a woman who knows that Isabella is going to have one wonderful set of grandparents.
Labels: Family Life.
posted by Redheaded Chick at 9:13 PM
2 Comments:
Wow! You did a lot. Good timing before this crappy heat moved in...
LOL! My grandmother lives in Illinois and when those of us on the East Coast joked about cheese in a can my grandmother said, "Cheese Wiz, I love Cheese Wiz". I think people in the mid-west and kindergarten teachers get a thrill from those Christmas sweaters.
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