DAUGHTER

Friday, April 28, 2006

Referrals for our agency

Our agency, China Adoption With Love, received thirteen referrals this month, for families that were logged into CCAA from May 31-June 6. All thirteen referrals were for girls from Jiangxi Province. The girls ranged in age from 6 months to 16 months.
Congratulations to these families!!!

In its monthly update, the agency stated that the wait (from log-in date to referral) for these families was 11 months. Our agency's director attended a meeting with the CCAA in New York recently, and our agency is stating that CCAA officials indicated that the wait would continue to increase, but did not indicate by how much.

I have told my university to expect that I would be teaching in the Fall 2006 semester, and on parental leave in the Spring 2007 semester.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The latest referral downer

The CCAA website has confirmed the nasty rumor. Referrals for this month are being sent for those families that had dossiers logged in from May 31st to June 6th.

I have given up hope of having Isabella home for Christmas this year.

This is hard, hard, hard.

Our wonderful leaders

Click here for a good laugh, courtesy of Tim!!!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

The Monthly Get Together

As many of you know, some of us in the New England area have been trying to get together once a month or so at someone's home. Some of us are waiting families and some of us have adopted beautiful daughters. Kikalee and R. started this off with Chinese New Year, Donna and Bob hosted in March, and this month, it was our turn. This was a good thing, as it forced Tim and I to do some actual housework. We do have some shame!!!

Thanks to Cheryl and Bruce, Kikalee and R., Sparky and Bob, Anne and Marty, John, LaSalette and Emma, and Kevin, Karen and Julie for coming. People brought along gifts, flowers and much yummy food. What a deal!!!

Next month we are hoping to meet up outside somewhere in a park for a picnic. Hopefully some of the folks that couldn't make it this time will be able to come. We are especially all eager to met Lulu, Deborah and Simon's new daughter, who came home from China about two weeks ago. Until then, we will stalk you through your blog.


Here are some pictures:

Cheryl and Bruce, waiting for Mya:


Me and Tim:


LaSalette and John came, brining their 17 month year old daughter Emma, who came home in November. Not only is Emma walking, but she can say her name, give kisses, and say "No!". Tim and I were kinda hoping John and LaSalette might be sick of her by now, and leave her with us, but no such luck!





Emma, with her daddy:


Kevin and Karen also came, along with their three year old daughter Julie. They are currently waiting to adopt a second daughter from China. Julie and Emma became fast friends.



And here's a picture of Anne, Kikalee, and Sparky. Some pretty hot waiting mamas!!!

Silly Humans

Our mutts Indie and Buca clearly think they are in charge. I've posted short video clips from a walk last weekend in the Blue Hills. Note that although I've finally learned how to post the short 30 second clips my camera can take, I haven't figured out how to rotate the video in Windows Media Player. So, bear with me!

In this video, Buca shows off his ability to jump over a log when bribed with food. Indie shows off her ability to drink Mama's coffee when she thinks no one is looking.

In this next video we see that Buca is always ready to move out for food, but Indie moves when and if she wants to.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

My "I am too tired and brain dead to post" Post

From Blogthings.com..





Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male



Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve




My, my, my..."rational", "level-headed"? Then why did all those adoption reference letters and the home study describe Tim as the calm, reserved, rational one and me as, ummm, something other than that???

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

5 Month LID Anniversary

Tim and I have now been logged in at the CCAA for 5 LONG months. We've been at this since February 2005.

I know there are those of you out there who have been logged in even longer (Cheryl and Bruce, Sparky and Bob, Kikalee and Rich). These have been the longest 5 months EVER, and I wonder how I will make it through the coming, seemingly endless months. It's very hard to be counting down to a date that keeps getting pushed out. It seems like a meaningless countdown.

Here are the latest rumors flying around the web:
"The wait from log in date to referral is expected to increase beyond 12 months".
"The next batch of referrals will contain log-in dates from May 31-June 6th".

Latest prediction from Tim and me:
"By the time we get Bella, she will be in diapers and we'll be in diapers".

I could write about how hard this feels sometimes, how I sometimes want to crawl into bed with a sign posted on me that says "Wake me up when the referral comes". How I honestly believe I have a physical yearning for my child.

But I have a feeling that many of my readers already know all about that...

MUST STAY POSITIVE.

MUST BUY MORE ALCOHOL.

Kidding, folks, kidding.

Maybe.

For those of you headed over to our place on Saturday, let me know if I start slurring my words!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Immigration Rallies in DC

Click here to see my 30 second movie from Monday.

And a story for you:

Immigration rallies target Congress
Lawmakers divided over offering legal status to workers
BY JENNIFER A. DLOUHY
Hearst Newspapers

WASHINGTON — The massive demonstrations Monday for more liberal immigration policies were aimed at the 535 members of Congress who are deadlocked over offering legal status to more than 11 million undocumented workers in the U.S.

On one side of the stalemate is a get-tough approach favored by the House of Representatives, which last year passed legislation that would build a fence along much of the U.S.-Mexico border and make it a felony to be in the U.S. illegally.

The Senate was ready last week to adopt a compromise that combined some get-tough elements with a guest-worker program that would have put the vast majority of the illegal immigrants now living in the United States on a path to eventual citizenship.

But that measure, negotiated by key Republican senators, capsized when Republicans who opposed it wanted to offer at least 20 amendments; Democratic leaders vowed to block more than a handful of amendments.

Demonstrators in more than 65 cities made it clear Monday that Congress was the target of their message.

"Communities of immigrants and non-immigrants around the country are organizing in ways we have never seen before to send Congress and the Bush administration a message," said Gustavo Torres, executive director of CASA of Maryland, a community group that helps Latino immigrants. "What was once a sleeping giant is now wide awake."

Demonstrators complained that the House's get-tough approach was inhumane.

The bill "violates our most basic American values," said Abdul Kamus, one march organizer. "It would rip families apart."

When lawmakers return to Capitol Hill in late April after a two-week recess, the Senate Judiciary Committee will hold more hearings and send a new immigration bill to the full Senate by May 4.

The issue is a tense, political one that divides the Republican Party and puts the Senate and House at odds with each other. Democratic members of the House and Senate generally favor a more liberal approach that would give illegal immigrants a chance to work legally in the United States and — eventually — apply for citizenship.

Immigration-rights advocates who organized the rallies Monday said they hoped the demonstrations will persuade moderate lawmakers to support a more liberal plan.

Rallies took place in communities of all sizes, from a gathering of at least 50,000 people in Atlanta to one involving 3,000 people in the farming town of Garden City, Kan., which has fewer than 30,000 residents.

Organizers of a New York rally claimed 150,000 participants at City Hall, and in Washington, organizers said crowds reached their goal of 180,000. Police would not give estimates in either case.

Monday's demonstrations followed a weekend of rallies in 10 states that drew up to 500,000 people in Dallas and tens of thousands elsewhere. Dozens of other rallies, many organized by Spanish-language radio DJ's, have been held nationwide over the past two weeks, including one with more than 500,000 people in Los Angeles.

Demonstrators in New York City held signs with slogans such as "We Are America," "Immigrant Values are Family Values," and "Legalize Don't Criminalize." One sign said: "Bush Step Down."

"We love this country. This country gives to us everything," said Florentino Cruz, 32, an illegal worker from Mexico who has been in the United States since 1992. "This country was made by immigrants."

Reminiscent of the civil rights protests and anti-war demonstrations of the 1960s and 1970s, the coast-to-coast rallies displayed what organizers described as an emerging social and political force as immigrants find their voice.

"You're what this debate is about," Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., co-sponsor of a leading immigration bill, told demonstrators on the National Mall just blocks from the U.S. Capitol. "Some in Congress want to turn America away from its true spirit. They believe immigrants are criminals. And they're wrong."

Guierine Donis, wearing a T-shirt and visor that read "Stop HR-4437" to a rally in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., said the House bill would deprive immigrants of "education and all the rights we deserve."

Meanwhile, some Republicans staunchly opposed to anything that hints of "amnesty" for illegal immigrants apply that label to guest-worker programs.

Rep. Tom Tancredo, R-Colo., who heads the 94-member House Immigration Reform Caucus that wants to crack down on illegal immigration, said the rallies Monday should turn off lawmakers.

"The illegal alien lobby has upgraded its PR, instructing protestors to trade in their foreign flags for red, white and blue," he said. "But make no mistake about it: Amnesty is an affront to American law and America's tradition of legal immigration. If the protesters really want to honor America's values, they would stand up to lawbreakers and embrace an enforcement-first approach to fixing our broken system."

Reults of an ABC News/Washington Post poll released Monday showed that 63 percent of those surveyed said they favor allowing undocumented immigrants who are already working in the U.S. to apply for legal status and later citizenship if they pay a fine and back taxes.

In contrast, only 14 percent favored a plan to let illegal immigrants stay and work for a limited number of years before having to return to their home countries — an alternative pushed by Sens. John Cornyn, R-Texas, and Jon Kyl, R-Ariz. About 20 percent said illegal immigrants should be declared felons and offered no temporary work program, a stand that corresponds with the legislation approved by the House.

The poll found that respondents' biggest concern wasn't job security, but nonpayment of taxes by illegal immigrants. A third of those polled said their chief concern is that immigrants use more publicly funded services than they pay taxes to cover.

This report includes information from the Associated Press, Bloomberg News Service, Knight Ridder News Service and Washington Post.






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

© 2006 St. Paul Pioneer Press and wire service sources. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.twincities.com

Bella's Books

Recently some people have asked me what books I have bought for Isabella. Since Tim and I are both avid readers, I started thinking about books a long time ago. The only thing that stopped me from amassing tons was that we would be moving.

I had a great aunt, Elizabeth, who spoiled my brother and I. She took us to the doctors, bought our school shoes every year, and bought me a lot of books. She died when I was 10, and I wish she could have lived to see me as an adult. She would have been disappointed in some of my choices, but very happy that I am a reader.

I am hoping Bella will be a reader too. All I can do is make reading a part of her life from the beginning and hope that she grows to enjoy it on her own. Both Tim and I are looking forward to reading to her. So, there's a new set of links on the right sidebar called "Bella's Books", where I will try to keep track of what her library is looking like these days.

A glimpse of DC

To be blogged about when I have a little less to do!!!

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Friday, April 07, 2006

Whew!

This past week has been rather hetic at work. We are getting into the homestretch of the semester (which in my mind is anything after mid-semester date). Grading really starts to pile up, and some students start to realize "Oh crap, I really may fail this woman's class". So they want advice and that sort of thing. And I gave a talk at the University yesterday. I should be very used to giving talks by now, but I always freak out at the last minute, wondering who will show up, what audience I should pitch the talk to, do I really know my stuff well enough, how much math should I include in the presentation, can I concisely explain what a cryptosporidium oocyst is, blah, blah, blah.

On Sunday, I will fly to DC for a few days for an EPA conference on morbidity and mortality from environmental contaminants. I am looking forward to this, as I will get a chance to connect with some people I met last year while at working at EPA, and hopefully a friend or two I made while down there. And April is certainly not a bad time to be in DC. But I'll miss Tim and the mutts...makes me think of how hard it must be for those of you with little humans to go on business trips.

My plan for today is to do some work, but also to take it easy by allowing myself the time to go get my eyebrows waxed. Yes, you know something is wrong when your idea of relaxation is having someone rip tiny little hairs out of your face.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

A little musical review

I have to tell you about a CD I bought recently...Rosanne Cash's Black Cadillac. Run, don't walk, to buy it. It's amazing. After losing three people she loved in a two year time span, including her father Johnny Cash and her step-mother, June Carter Cash, she wrote and recorded 12 songs. I have been listening to this non-stop, and I have a LOT of CDs. Her voice is very clear, and she sings the songs in a heartfelt manner, without oversinging. My personal favorites are Black Cadillac, I Was Watching You, and God is in the Roses. So, what are you still doing in front of the computer?

Monday, April 03, 2006

I digress.

I've been looking at my last few posts, as well as the title of this blog, and having quite a chuckle for myself. Because right now the adoption seems very far away and sitting around waiting for a referral is not my idea of adventure.

There are alternative titles I could go with...

The Murphys Want Their Baby. Now.

The Murphy Waiting Anti-Adventure.

The Murphy Imaginary Daughter: Isabella.

Nothin' New.

No, We Don't Know When We Are Going to China.

Tammy's Rant O' the Day.

or my personal favorite,

Waiting Sucks. So Give Me Chocolate.

My point is that I realize that this blog has really digressed from the topic of adoption, especially as of late. But what can I do? There's nothing to report. The last round of referrals was for LIDs of May 26-May 30. Our LID is November 18th. Our agency didn't have any referrals the last time CCAA sent them out, so I can't report on that either. But I am sticking with it because frankly, I need to. Because deep down, I know my daughter isn't imaginary and I know that we will be embarking on an actual adventure soon enough. Well, actually, NOT soon enough, but you know what I mean. So, keeping this blog is both an act of faith and a coping mechanism.

And we aren't just sitting around...I guess it just feels that way because the one thing I've cared about most in my life is so slow in coming. Anyone who knows me knows that patience is not my strong suit. Once I decide I want something, I go for it. It happens. Tim is very similar. Neither one of us screws around when it comes to decisions. Of course, those are typically things we have control over, and we all know we are not in control here.

I know someone's probably going to email me and tell me "But your daughter's just not ready for you yet". Do that at your own risk, because that's not one of my favorite things to hear, especially from people that already have their children. Because we are ready for our daughter. It kills me to think that she could be born, just waiting for us.

So, let me update you on the random goings on here:

- Saturday night Tim and I attended a dinner that the new Chancellor of UMB was hosting for faculty...his goal is to have dinner with each faculty member by the close of the year. I was kinda dreading it, as I generally hate sitting around, making small talk. I have a lot of ambivalence about my academic identity, and I generally don't feel comfortable with most other academics.

But it turned out to be quite nice, and we met some nice folks. The funniest thing is we somehow ended up being seated at the Chancellor's table. There were 50 people there, at least, and 9 per table. Nice odds. Let's just say this was a night I decided to watch my wine intake carefully. Tim decided to point out to the Chancellor that Holy Cross (the college his kids attend) had been beated by the University of North Dakota in hockey recently. The Chancellor immediately said "I'll keep that in mind", and asked when my tenure decision year is.

- My allergies have kicked up again and are in full swing. I spend half the day trying to scratch my eyes out.

- It appears that the company, Boston Baby, we ordered our crib, dresser, and rocker from may have gone out of business. My friend Cheryl called me to alert me that she had seen something on the news. When we drove by there yesterday, they were closed. Stuff still in the store, but no people, and no sign indicating what's going on. For once, I am glad we haven't paid a bill in full yet.

- My mother's husband is very sick. He's been in and out of hospitals for the past year. He has not been able to leave the house for a few years...his life is spent in his bed and the recliner. He is in the hospital now. He's 5'7" and currently weighs 133 lbs. He has congestive heart failure and a host of other things wrong with him. They are currently trying to decide whether or not to move him to a Boston hopsital to have a defibrillator put in, but there's concern he won't survive the surgery. My mom says she feels like she's living with a time bomb. I am kind of waiting for and dreading The Call.

I have a long painful relationship with my mom's husband. Yet somehow, I feel very sad about all this. Maybe it's because I know my mom truly loves this man, in spite of all the reasons I think she shouldn't. Maybe it's because my mom has lost her father, her only sibling, and her mother in the last 8 years, and I hate to see her go through yet another loss. Maybe it's because I know his quality of life is so low, and I wish it could all finally come to an end peacefully...that they could say their goodbyes and he could be given an injection and drift off, rather than die on the operating table or wait until his heart finally gives out. I sometimes think we treat our pets more humanely than our people. I guess, at the end of the day, no matter what someone has done to me or how they've hurt me, I don't like to see someone scared and I don't like to see someone suffering.

- On a lighter, happier note, Tim and I have gotten tickets to see Willie Nelson this May in Boston. Willie rocks! I saw him in 2002 and it was one of the best concerts ever.

- And on an even better note, Tim and I have decided to go to Chicago in June to see his brother Todd. I love Todd, and have never been to Chicago, so I am quite excited!

And that, my friends, is it for now!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Spring comes to Boston

It's been really nice here this past week. I took this picture on Thursday, on Boston Common:

Image hosting by Photobucket

March Bibs

I am in a bib swap with my October 2005 DTC group on Yahoo. Here are the cute bibs we received in March for Isabella.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Last Sunday Night

Last Sunday night we had a nice lasagna (great for leftovers on Monday after the gym) and a bottle of wine, then hit the couch.

Here are some pictures of the boys:
Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

It's tough being a schnauzer:
Image hosting by Photobucket

A random day-March 21, 2006

A few weeks ago, I decided to bring my camera to work with me for the day. Don't ask me why. I did want to take pictures of some of the students in the economics internship program that I run, and I was doing site visits that day. But for some reason, I decided to photograph the whole work day randomly. So, here we go.

The drive to work. It starts off very plesantly. Right now I have the shortest commute of my life - 6 miles one way. That's right folks. My first year my commute was 72 miles one way. So, this commute is a vast improvement, and one of those little things that makes my life nicer.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Traffic starts picking up a little:

Image hosting by Photobucket

One of the reasons I will never be skinny: My Dunkin' Donuts Stop on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Coffee always, muffin sometimes.
Image hosting by Photobucket

Tell me, what Einstein came up with this cup holder design? Yep, that's right. Coffee spills directly onto the radio and CD, and into the loading slot for CDs.

Image hosting by Photobucket

On the last few miles of the commute:

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

We are coming up on UMB on the right...the big brick complex that looks like a prison or mental institution. It's got a great location, but the facilities themselves, except for the new campus center, leave something to be desired.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Arrival time at work, am of course. I teach at 8:30 am, so I need some time to get my act together.

Image hosting by Photobucket

My office. Can you say environmental hazard? It's awful, I know.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Every once in a while things get wild and all the books shelves come crashing down. Fun.

One of my latest pet peeves. The board in my 11:30 environmental economics class.
My classroom for this class is a music classroom. Hello? Economics has graphs, which preferably, the students should actually be able to read. I've put in several requests for a room change, which have all been ignored. Yep, we've got flat screen TVs at UMB, but this is what I am teaching economics on. I know...you are thinking I could go to Power Point. However, I find that students really need practice in seeing how these graphs are put together, so I do them all out on the board. Thank God for colored chalk.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Downtown Boston, about 3pm. I had two internship site visits at Boston City Hall. The way the internship program works is that students work at municipal, state or non-profit organizations in exchange for course credit.

Image hosting by Photobucket

One of the site visits was at the Boston Redevelopment Authority. The man on the left is Khoi, the student. He is pictured with his supervisor.

Image hosting by Photobucket

The other site visit was at the Boston Assessing Office. The student is the man on the left, Arion. He is pictured with his supervisor, Claire.

Image hosting by Photobucket

5:15 pm or so. I took the T back to the UMB campus, and went to my car for the drive home:

Image hosting by Photobucket

Note that how much I love this car (except for the bad cup holder design) is a whole separate post.

The JFK Library happens to be on the same piece of land, Columbia Point, as UMB. Here's a picture of the library.

Image hosting by Photobucket

A very pretty sky on the way home:
Image hosting by Photobucket

The driveway, with Tim's Grand Am, one of the worst cars ever. He likes to refer to "The Power of the Am".

Image hosting by Photobucket

I ran into Tim on the sidewalk, walking out mutts:

Image hosting by Photobucket

Three Butts and the Poop Bag:
Image hosting by Photobucket

Home Sweet Home:
Image hosting by Photobucket

Arrival Time at Home:
Image hosting by Photobucket