And yet more Christmas & more Carla

This is a picture of Carla and me, taken on Christmas. You've heard a lot about Carla...yes, she spoils me. Yes, we've been friends for 20 years. Tim calls her his "Portuguese Love Muffin", or "PLM", as she was born in the Azores. She calls him her "Irish Love Croissant" because sometime, somewhere, Tim had some relatives in Ireland. I am not sure where the "croissant" comes in, but these two seem to have a fascination with pastries.

I love it. I love that two of the people I love most in the world love each other.

Carla makes me look tall in pictures...I am only 5'4". I always feel like a blobby, Jolly Green Giant next to her. She is a very petite, cute, smart woman. And incredibly photogenic. Me, not so much.

A few ways my life would have been different had I not met Carla:

1. Middle school would have been much less fun.
2. I would have had to walk much much more, as her dad used to give me rides to work and home a lot. Big tan Crowne Victoria, small little Portuguese man with a small English vocabulary. Somehow it didn't matter much.
3. High school would have been much less fun.
4. I would have had fewer birthday celebrations, as her parents often did something for me (Carla and I are 1 year and 3 days apart. I am younger. Hee Hee.)
5. I would have no one to commiserate with over exactly how bad I looked in middle school and high school.
6. Tim wouldn't be able to laugh at the high school graduation picture of Carla and me she has up on her wall in her home EVERYTIME he goes over there. Oh yeah, and he's NOT laughing at Carla.
7. I would still be in the girls' locker room in high school, trying to get my act together after gym. Carla can change her clothes in about 6 seconds. It takes me about 60 minutes.
8. I would have never been able to bring as much crap with me as I did to college...Carla used to pack all my stuff.
9. I wouldn't had all my favorite wall art hung up one day after Tim and I moved into this house...yes, Carla did that too.
10. Bella wouldn't have a border in her nursery, because Carla is going to put that up.
11. I wouldn't have bought my purple (it's plum, people) couch, or any of my furniture after I separated from my former husband in 2002, nearly as quickly. Carla's motto is "Check!". That means "it's done ... let's move on".
12. I would have walked down the aisle when I married Tim alone, or with someone who meant less to me since my dear friend Andy was already performing the wedding ceremony. Carla walked me down, as well as my brother-in-law Todd. It meant a lot to me to be accompanied by someone who has always been and always will be a part of my life, someone who has always been and always will be a part of Tim's life, and now two people that will always be a part of both of our lives.

Bella will call Carla "Auntie Carla" of course.

More Christmas

We had a little open house on Christmas day. Our neighbors came by, as did our friend Hannah. Later on Carla, her sister Noelia, and Noelia's husband Tim came by. So it was a nice restful day. Here are some pictures with Hannah.







The scary thing about this last picture is that I have no idea what we were laughing so hard about!

And because we must have a dog picture every few posts, here is Buca enjoying one of his stocking stuffers:

Our Christmas Loot

Of course, we must report on our own goodies!

Tim received:
1. A Caswell-Massey travel set from Andy and Nicole.
2. A few turtlenecks from his parents (He was very happy, as he can always use those).
3. A few pairs of warm socks from his parents (our hard wood floors are c-c-cold!)
4. A shirt from his parents.
5. A shirt and pair of jeans from me.
6. A shirt with the Chinese characters for "father" on it from Indie, Buca and Bella. Somehow they get me to pay for their gifts.
7. Some fun prints of a Bichon Frise and a Schnauzer from me.
8. A Jack Black shaving kit from me.
9. Some Sweet Tarts from me...because I normally eat all candy in the house regardless of whether it belongs to me or not.
10. Two wooden ornaments...one of a Bichon Frise driving a golf cart and one of a Schnauzer driving a golf cart
11. An eyeglass cleaning cloth from me (trust me...he needs it).
12. A computer screen cleaning cloth from me.
13. I adopted a lioness in his name through the African Wildlife Foundation. They sent a little stuffed lion...very cute.
14. A cookbook from Carla.
15. Some Starburst candies from Carla (since he normally eats all of hers when we are at her house).
16. Two ornaments from Carla...a Schnauzer and a Santa.







I received:
1. An apron from my in-laws.
2. A pair of earrings and necklace from my in-laws.
3. A pair of stocking slippers from my in-laws. Nice and warm. Mmmm.
4. Some hand cream (always needed) from my in-laws. Tim steals my hand cream often.
5. Some exfoliating gloves to wear in the shower from my in-laws.
6. Many chocolate related stocking stuffers from Tim: Godiva Hot Chocolate, Lindt Dark Chocolate Truffles, a king size Hersey's Dark Chocolate Bar, and a Reese's Peanut Butter Christmas Tree. Tim knows I am easier to be around with chocolate around.
7. Some warm cozy fleece socks from Tim.
8. A new photojournalism book called A Day in the Life of an American Woman. I am looking forward to some rest and relaxation looking at it...I love photojournalism.
9. A sculpture that unfortunately arrived in the mail in pieces from Tim...it's called "Inner Peace" and you can click to see what it is supposed to look like. I can tell you that she did not look too peaceful with no head. We will be returning that!
10. A new cozy cozy cozy hoodie from Tim.
11. A pair of Harley Davidson open harness boots that I very much wanted from Tim
12. A few layering long sleeve T-shirts from Carla. Pink and brown, and cute!
13. A Borders giftcard from Carla. Since I can blow big bucks at a bookstore in no time flat, this is much, much appreciated!!!
14. Some notecards from Carla.
15. The "mother and daughter" necklace I mentioned in an earlier post from Carla.
16. A shoe ornament from Andy and Nicole...now, wear did they get the idea that I like shoes?!?
17. A six pack of Killian's Irish Red from Tim (below my stocking, by the mantle). Gotta love that. Andy, no comments on my taste in beer...I know it's not "high brow" enough for you!








Bella wasn't the only one that made out like a bandit!

Christmas Stockings

Tim is feeling peeved because Indie and Buca have bigger stockings than him...

Bella makes out like a bandit!

Bella received many lovely gifts for Christmas, even though she's not home yet, and we don't know if she's even been born!

From her Aunt Tina, Uncle Chris and cousins Amber, Leah and Ben, she received a beautiful outfit (skirt, sweater and tights), the most cozy purple blanket with her name embroidered on it, a Lamaze toy, and we also received a frame with the word "Family on it".

Here is Tim with the blanket:



and me with the toy (of course):


From her grandparents, she received a sweater and a summer dress:



This kid has quite the wardrobe goin' on already!

Carla gave us the Shaoey and Dot Book, which made been on my mind to buy for a long time!

Thank you for all of these great gifts...it's very moving to us.

Domestic Tammy?

Tim's parents totally spoiled us for Christmas. My most interesting gift was this apron...



Are they trying to tell me something? Tim did not get an apron. Perhaps he should have?





He is wearing it as we speak, chopping up veggies!!!

To be filled next year

I've been cut off!!!

OK, so I have a gripe. My laptop has freaked out on me!!! I had the McAfee Internet Security suite, which was working fine until Tuesday, when I could not log into the Privacy Service. It wouldn't bring up "Administrator" as my username and it wouldn't let me enter my password. I got Error 30. I had no access whatsoever!

After much tedious work, I manually uninstalled the McAfee Privacy Service, the Virus Scan, Anti-Spyware, Spam Killer and Security Center. I had to do this by editing the registry, which was a new one on me. However, McAfee Virus Scan is still listed when I click on Control Panel, then Add/Remove Programs.

Now I can get on the Internet, but I cannot type anything into a text box. I still get Error 30! So no logging onto Ebay, no email responses, etc. It's killing me.
I tried downloading Mozilla's browser, and that works, but I have the same problem...no ability to type in text boxes.

Yes, we still have Tim's computer and that's fine, but computers are precious in this house and I want mine back...Tim and I both work at home a lot. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I will resort to calling the Geek Squad if I can't fix this soon.

Done with my Christmas Shopping

I love the Internet! Have I finished writing out my Christmas cards? No. Did I put beautiful white candles in all the windows like I wanted to do? No. But because of the power the mouse, I am done with Christmas shopping. Yahoo! (No pun intended).

Carla and I started Christmas early on Saturday. She got some flannel PJs, a couple of journals, a new Coach purse, and a big ass shadow box from us. It was the funniest thing...she picked this thing out. She sent me the webpage (Potternbarn) for it. Then when I show up at her home with this wrappped box that's as tall as I am, and say "Well, I guess you know what this is...", and she is like "I have no idea!"

Carla and I, after 20 years of buying gifts for each other, have gotten pretty pragmatic. We always surprise each other with a few gifts, but we are also not afraid to say "Hey, what do you want?". Now, our love for Coach purses...kind of a pricey love. But they are very well made and Carla and I both adore them. Shallow and indulgent, yes. However, we justify our shallowness by observing that both of our families were quite poor (at least by US standards) and we were probably the worst dressed kids in school. I exaggerate not. I'll have to dig up some photos somewhere. Also, Carla and I adore spoiling each other as much as we adore Coach purses.

Tim and I are also pretty pramatic when it comes to gifts, especially now because we have had a lot of big expenses. But I find no matter what dollar amount we set, we both always go over! He'll give me a list, and I will buy some stuff off of it, but I find I always want to surprise him. It's fun. I gave him an easy list (for example, buy this pair of boots at zappos.com with this item number in this size and color) and a harder list (a Celtic cross necklace, and a black faux Persian lamb coat, with buttons, not a zipper). I predict that I will not being getting the coat...I can't really see Tim going out in search of that. But I also predict I'll be getting a few fun surprises. Last year one of my gifts was Ms. Pac-man for my PDA. How cool is that? Hard to play on a PDA? Yes, very. But fun!

This is the first year that we are not going to Tim's hometown in Minnesota. I am a bit worried he'll be sad missing his family. But I am also looking forward to establishing some of our own traditions and routines. And I am loving having a real tree this year. On Christmas eve, we will go to an evening mass, and then Tim wants to open all our gifts (his family opens their gifts Christmas eve). On Christmas day, we will have a kind of open house, so that people can stop by as their schedules allow. We also would like to start a tradition of volunteering as a family on Christmas Day.

Back to writing out those Christmas cards.

How Lucky Are We?

First, I want to share a gift I received from Carla this weekend:



It's a beautiful, beautiful necklace from Red Envelope (one of my favorite catalogs). In case you are very near sighted like me, it has the Chinese characters for mother and daughter on one tag, and the words "Mother and Daughter" engraved on the tag underneath. I have promised myself I won't wear it until we receive our referral..but I love looking at it already!

So, in the past few days, I have been feeling incredibly lucky. And I would even say I am feeling a sense of calm about waiting for Isabella. I see lots of families running around, and kids getting excited for Christmas and I think "next year at this time she'll be with us".

When Carla gave me the necklace, I explained to her how I really go up and down ... sometimes the idea that Tim and I will soon be parents feels very real, and other times, it feels like a far away dream. And she said to me "Well, I see you in that role. I think 'She's going to have Bella' ". This is why Carla and I have been friends for over 20 years.

I have been thinking about our lives and we really are lucky. Tim and I both have secure jobs. Yes, they are sometimes stressful and drive us insane, but we have jobs that neither one of us hates. We shouldn't ever take that for granted. We have a home. Yes, it may need a new furnance, but we have a home we love. Most importantly, we have family and friends, we have the mutts, we have each other. Wow.

Last night was my departmental Christmas party. I saw Tim talking with people, laughing, scarfing down all the mixed nuts, and I realize how crazy in love with him I am, and how much I really love being with him. Wow.

So, I am feeling really blessed, and I hope that you all feel a sense of peace right now.

Survived Another Semester

Yesterday was the last day of classes at the Univ. Yahoo!!! Let's just say some of my students I truly admire and enjoy, others not so much. So there's the final push of 80 papers and finals to grade, and then I am due for some relaxation!

Maybe I can finally get around to reading a baby care book...I've got "What to Expect the First Year" and the Dr. Sears "Baby Book". These suckers are thick! Much thicker than the dog care books I have. Yikes! And look what little monsters Indie and Buca are!

Those of you in the adoption community know that a mother was recently charged with harming her adopted Chinese daughter...Tragically, the child died.

This has gotten me thinking even more about attachment and parenting issues. I've done a fair amount of reading on adoption from China, and some on attachment.

I figured I'd save the baby care reading for now since we just got our LID...I was worried I might forget some of it if I read too much in advance. I plan to take the adopted baby care classes through the Open Door Society. I plan to wear Isabella using a MeiTai or other baby carrier as much as I can, and I am also hoping to take an infant massage class, to help promote bonding.

But are we doing enough? What can we do now except read about these issues and try to be prepared?

I've talked to a lot of my friends that are already parents. They tell me you figure it out as you go along. But the only couple I personally know well right now with a Chinese child is LaSalette and John...They just returned from China with Emma in November. Of course, we will watch and try to learn from them. But Emma is not going to be our daughter ... Our daughter could be very much like Emma or completely different.

Is it naive to think that Tim and I basically have "good heads on our shoulders" and will deal with issues as they arise?

Our daughter's name in Chinese characters

OK, so I don't know if these are correct or not. But here is what I am getting:

Isabella:



Carmen:


How neat to see this!!!

Our Log In Date!!!

Tim and I received our log-in date today from our adoption agency ... it's 11/18/2005. This is the date the China Center for Adoption Affairs officially records us as a waiting family. Hurray!!!

Proof that white men can't dance...

WHITE MEN CAN'T DANCE, OR AT LEAST MINE CAN'T!!!

Our Christmas Tree

We finally got our Christmas tree!!! This is the first Christmas Tim and I have bought a Christmas tree together, and the first Christmas in our new home together, so it had to be the real thing! We decorated it today. Indie and Buca are quite perplexed by the tree, but enjoy eating the falling needles.



Another gift I bought for Tim, which let's face it, was also a gift for me, was our tree topper angel...a beautiful Chinese angel.



Here's to having our Chinese angel home next year!!!

Our special ornament

I bought Tim a special Christmas ornament this year! We are praying Bella will be with us at this time next year. The ornament says "Waiting for Isabella Carmen".

Tim looked at this ornament and said "Wow...I'm hot!" He had the good sense to add "in a geeky kind of way".

Christmas comes early...

Today we received a large package in the mail. This is the first time we've ever gotten mail on a Sunday...perhaps they stopped by because we got no mail on Friday due to the snow...

Anyway, inside of it were all our gifts from Crookston, Minnesota (including a box of Widman's famous chippers...potato chips covered in chocolate)!

Wow...as Tim said, we made out like bandits. We were good and did not open them...we placed them all under our tree! It was pretty exciting though...and Bella got her first Christmas presents from Grandma Karen, Grandpa Royal, Aunt Tina, Uncle Chris, and cousins Amber, Leah and Big Ben!!!





You can see we were very happy and excited to receive these presents!!! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!

Tim pretends he doesn't like this but...

So, Tim and Buca are very close. Tim might look like he is grimacing, but trust me, he is in love with his Buca boy.

A lovely poem

Once there were two women
who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
the other you call Mother.
Two different lives
shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star;
the other became your sun.
And now you ask me,
through your tears,
the age-old question
unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment,
which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling. Neither.
Just two different kinds of love.

Unknown