Emma has her birthday and welcome home party...
Yesterday we went to a birthday/welcome home party for Emma WenXue, daughter of John and LsSalette. It was truly amazing to see Emma come down the stairs in LaSalette's arms with her party dress and squeaky shoes on, after waking up from her nap. She woke up to greet her public!!! It felt surreal. LaSalette and John left in October for China as a couple, and came home as a family! Their daughter is really here.
Emma is captivating. Not only is she stunningly beautiful, but she smiles and giggles all the time. She plays peek-a-boo! She waves hello! And it is nothing less than fascinating to see. We are so happy for them, and blown away by this little girl. I long for the day when Emma can be a friend to our daughter.
We also saw our friends Cheryl and Bruce, who are also adopting (July 2005 DTC) and live next door to John and LaSalette. Cheryl and Bruce are waiting for their daughter Mya, and are collecting squares for her 100 good wishes quilt. It will be amazing for these two Chinese girls, Emma and Mya,to grow up next to each other. Every now and then, Isabella can crash the party!
Today I have been thinking a lot about how it will feel to take this daughter of China home as our daughter. As much as I dream of "Gotcha Day", I feel a bit guilty too. I've been reading stories of www.thestoryofyou.net, and some children grief so much for their "ayis" (nannies in the orphanages) or for their foster parents. It scares me. I know it's a healthy thing if these dear little ones have attached to their caretakers, but I feel horribly about being the one to take a child from the love that they have known. It has become increasingly clear to me that many of these children are so loved by their nannies or foster parents. I know I will love my Chinese daughter as much as a Chinese ayi or foster parent could, or more. But it will still be a different love than she has known until that time. It will be the love of a red-headed Caucasian American woman who speaks a strange language. It will be a new love, maybe a scary love for our daughter to be. I am trying to remind myself that it will be the love of a mother, and a father ... a love that has been in our hearts just waiting to be given to a child. And so, I pray that as scary and different as that may be for our daughter, she will somehow know that it is real and that it is good.
Emma is captivating. Not only is she stunningly beautiful, but she smiles and giggles all the time. She plays peek-a-boo! She waves hello! And it is nothing less than fascinating to see. We are so happy for them, and blown away by this little girl. I long for the day when Emma can be a friend to our daughter.
We also saw our friends Cheryl and Bruce, who are also adopting (July 2005 DTC) and live next door to John and LaSalette. Cheryl and Bruce are waiting for their daughter Mya, and are collecting squares for her 100 good wishes quilt. It will be amazing for these two Chinese girls, Emma and Mya,to grow up next to each other. Every now and then, Isabella can crash the party!
Today I have been thinking a lot about how it will feel to take this daughter of China home as our daughter. As much as I dream of "Gotcha Day", I feel a bit guilty too. I've been reading stories of www.thestoryofyou.net, and some children grief so much for their "ayis" (nannies in the orphanages) or for their foster parents. It scares me. I know it's a healthy thing if these dear little ones have attached to their caretakers, but I feel horribly about being the one to take a child from the love that they have known. It has become increasingly clear to me that many of these children are so loved by their nannies or foster parents. I know I will love my Chinese daughter as much as a Chinese ayi or foster parent could, or more. But it will still be a different love than she has known until that time. It will be the love of a red-headed Caucasian American woman who speaks a strange language. It will be a new love, maybe a scary love for our daughter to be. I am trying to remind myself that it will be the love of a mother, and a father ... a love that has been in our hearts just waiting to be given to a child. And so, I pray that as scary and different as that may be for our daughter, she will somehow know that it is real and that it is good.
posted by Redheaded Chick at 9:58 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Tammy - :)
When we were on the way to the orphanage on Gotcha Day, all I could think about was how our daughter would react to us and how we would act to her. For months, I just knew that I would be a sobbing mess and so would she. I played "Gotcha Day" out a million different ways in my head and I have to say, it was nothing like I ever expected. Our daughter came right to us, smiled like she had know us her whole life and well, DH and I, that was all we could do was smile!! Our daughter didn't seem to be attached to anyone and that worried me, but she attached and bonded to us right away. My point is, you will do fine and your daughter will realize, even if it takes her a while, she will realize that she is there to stay and that you and Tim are her Forever Family and that it's forever!!!! Can't wait to see her in the arms of her, "Red Headed Mama!"
Hugs -
Tonia
http://ourfulingprincess.blogspot.com/
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