Change is on the horizon

I've done a lot of thinking about the blog over the last few days. A couple of things have happened that have made me seriously re-consider whether I want a publicly available blog. I always knew that I would eventually go to a password protected blog once Isabella arrived. It is important to me that my daughter's life not become something for public consumption and commentary. But recently I've decided that the move is going to come sooner rather than later. Not because of Isabella, but because of me.

I started the blog as an outlet for me. Yes, me. That means I get to write pretty much what I want, since I am the author of the blog. Now lots of people I don't know at all read the blog. At first that didn't bother me...most were in the adoption community, and I've made some wonderful connections because of the blog. And of course, our family and friends have passed along the URL to other people that we don't know at all. I didn't think that would bother me either, but now I am not so sure.

Recently someone took offense at the description of her hometown. I intended the post, titled Hanging with the 'rents to be a complimentary post to my in-laws. It was my way of saying "Hey, I know we are really different and don't always get each other, but I really appreciate a lot of who you are. I like being one of the kids."

But alas, someone from their hometown (and Tim's hometown), a person who I have never met, got in touch with one of Tim's family members, and was like "Hey, have you read this post...". Apparently, she was not pleased with my portrayal of her hometown and many of the women in it. Fortunately, the family member took it mostly in the spirit in which it was intended, after Tim explained it to her.

Here's the thing. This is my blog, so I get to call things as I see them, which is pretty much how I am in real life. However, I realize that if you are going to have a public blog, you really can't get too bent out of shape when people leave nasty comments or get upset about what you've written, even if they don't tell you directly.

The bottom line is that I don't want to spend my time worrying about who I've upset with the blog, or reading nasty comments from someone who will only admit to being "Dr. Phyllis" (that was really gutsy of you, by the way. Sarcasm intended). I don't want to have to sanitize my words, or have my husband have to explain what I meant. People who know me get me, and hopefully they feel comfortable enough asking me for an explanation if they want one. So that's who should be reading the blog.

I am not sure what will become of The Murphy Adoption Adventure. I know Tim likes the idea of a public blog. I am starting a private one, of a different name, on Typepad. It will be password protected. I will not be giving the password out to very many people. The title will not have the word "adoption" in it, because I realize that adoption is only a small part of what I want to say. And "adoption" will only be a part of what makes Isabella who she is. I am not sure I want to maintain two blogs. I've asked Tim to consider taking on this blog. However, Tim has not decided what he wants to do. If he decides not to take over, I may only post occasionally, with a few innocuous words on how life is going. And I have a feeling that The Murphy Adoption Adventure will become a very boring blog.

So, friends, give me some time to get going on Typepad, and I'll be emailing you the password info. And to the rest of you...the ones I don't know, but who have followed along, happy trails to you! I wish you all the best.