DAUGHTER

Sunday, November 27, 2005

And now some sad news...

My grandma died on Thanksgiving Day. I didn't want to post this news with our Thanksgiving Day photos because Thanksgiving Day really was a special day, and I enjoyed our guests so much.

My mother's mom fell, and died of a brain hemmorage Thursday evening. It was unexpected, even though Grandma was 87 and her health had begun to decline. Grandma was pretty much a classy looking fox though, so in my mind, she has always seemed sort of ageless. I feel badly that I hadn't seen her very recently...I think I sort of took it for granted that she would always be around. Foolish, I know.

I am trying to be OK with this. The day my grandfather died in 1997 was HORRIBLE. I was actually in the hospital room when he died, and for weeks, I couldn't get that image out of my mind. When he died, my grandmother, his wife of nearly 60 years, said "It's his graduation day", meaning that he was going back to his maker. My mother and I had a hard time hearing that. But I know she really believed this. After that I made an effort to spend a lot of time with my grandma, and at one point she said, out of the blue, "I really miss grandpa" and began to cry. So, I like to think that they are being re-united.

Today was the wake from 2-4. Tim was there, of course. I am very glad he had a chance to meet my grandmother before her death. Carla was also there, which I think meant as much to my mom as it did to me since Carla has known my family a LONG time. Also, my brother Bobby was there, with his crass, black sense of humor that slays Tim and I. We shouldn't have been laughing at a wake, but we were.

I had a really nice surprise...my friends Cheryl and Bruce, and LaSalette and John came to the wake, and they brought Emma, their Chinese daughter with them. Emma bought some much needed smiles to the faces around her, and I got to hold her. She is so beautiful. How lucky she, LaSalette and John are to be a family. I can't help but think about how one light has gone out, and another (Emma) has just come into the world. So precious. Tim and I were happy to see that she was wearing the fleece outfit with a dog on it (of course) that we bought her for her first birthday.

My Grandma will never meet our Bella, at least not in this world. Maybe she will watch over her.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Thanksgiving

We had a really nice Thanksgiving Day with our guests...very relaxing and down to earth. Tim did most of the cooking!!! He actually banned me from the kitchen (I have no idea what prompted this). We had cranberry glazed turkey, cornbread stuffing with pecans, sesame green beans with red pepper, salad, cranberries, bread, and pumpkin and apple pie. Thanks to Robin for the apple pie!!!

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Tim's older brother Todd was here from Chicago. Always a treat! Todd has recently started playng tennis again and is in a league. He has decided that he is going to be the first man ever to win Wimbeldon at 42 years of age. He now refers to himself alternately as "The World's Greatest Tennis Player" and "The French Irish Bulldog".

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We were also joined by Carla, who thankfully was the one to say "Bring on the wine!" Gotta love that woman...I was just waiting for one of our guests to take us up on that offer!!!

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And finally, we were joined by the sister of Tim's sister's husband,Robin Trostad, and her lovely significant other, Andrew. They are pretty cute together, don't you think?

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Robin is a nurse, and Andrew is in divinity school, so he was immediately elected to say grace!!!

It is nice to think that hopefully by next Thanksgiving, we will have our Bella home. We have a lot to be thankful for, and we know it.

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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A funny Buca story

Is there any other kind? Buca is a CHEWER. He eats everything ... plants, dog beds, slippers, etc. So, recently I was at a newly opened pet store (Pawsitively Pets in Canton, MA), and asked the owner, Sandy, for some suggestions. She recommended some dried sweet potatoes chews. She told me to let him have the rope o' chews for 45 minutes a day, and then give it to hime\ each day. OK, sounds good.

I bought them home at 5:45 PM on Friday, and gave them to Buca after I fed him his evening meal. By 6:15 PM, they were history!!!

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Some pics of Emma from her birthday party

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A message from my mom-in-law

Today, my mother-in-law Karen sent me a beautiful message. I thought the timing was amazing, given my post last night...

A Baby Asks God

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth
tomorrow,but how am I going to live there being so small and
helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take
care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I
don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."
God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile
for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to
understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"
God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet
words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel
will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach
you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"
God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will
teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next
to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from
Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to
leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

"You will simply call her, "Mom."

Monday, November 21, 2005

Emma has her birthday and welcome home party...

Yesterday we went to a birthday/welcome home party for Emma WenXue, daughter of John and LsSalette. It was truly amazing to see Emma come down the stairs in LaSalette's arms with her party dress and squeaky shoes on, after waking up from her nap. She woke up to greet her public!!! It felt surreal. LaSalette and John left in October for China as a couple, and came home as a family! Their daughter is really here.

Emma is captivating. Not only is she stunningly beautiful, but she smiles and giggles all the time. She plays peek-a-boo! She waves hello! And it is nothing less than fascinating to see. We are so happy for them, and blown away by this little girl. I long for the day when Emma can be a friend to our daughter.

We also saw our friends Cheryl and Bruce, who are also adopting (July 2005 DTC) and live next door to John and LaSalette. Cheryl and Bruce are waiting for their daughter Mya, and are collecting squares for her 100 good wishes quilt. It will be amazing for these two Chinese girls, Emma and Mya,to grow up next to each other. Every now and then, Isabella can crash the party!

Today I have been thinking a lot about how it will feel to take this daughter of China home as our daughter. As much as I dream of "Gotcha Day", I feel a bit guilty too. I've been reading stories of www.thestoryofyou.net, and some children grief so much for their "ayis" (nannies in the orphanages) or for their foster parents. It scares me. I know it's a healthy thing if these dear little ones have attached to their caretakers, but I feel horribly about being the one to take a child from the love that they have known. It has become increasingly clear to me that many of these children are so loved by their nannies or foster parents. I know I will love my Chinese daughter as much as a Chinese ayi or foster parent could, or more. But it will still be a different love than she has known until that time. It will be the love of a red-headed Caucasian American woman who speaks a strange language. It will be a new love, maybe a scary love for our daughter to be. I am trying to remind myself that it will be the love of a mother, and a father ... a love that has been in our hearts just waiting to be given to a child. And so, I pray that as scary and different as that may be for our daughter, she will somehow know that it is real and that it is good.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Sumeet and John have a baby boy!!!

Our friends Sumeet and John live ONE street over from us. On November 9th, Sumeet gave birth to their son Aman. Aman means "peace" in Punjabi, which is beautiful! We are very excited to see Aman, but are holding off a bit because I am sure Sumeet, John and Aman are being swarmed with visitors right now, and I've been a bit sick. I think it's just allergies. but I don't want to take any chances.
Congratulations to Sumeet and John, who will make wonderful parents!

I haven't felt much like blogging lately...maybe not feeling well has something to do with it. The big project right now is that last weekend Tim and I started painting Tim's office. This has turned out to be an interesting endeavor. The walls have some cracks, which Tim put joint compound over. Then we used two coats of Benjamin Moore's "Chestertown Buff" on the walls (a golden color). We primed all the time with some evil stuff called Binz and painted two coats of Benjamin Moore's "Greenfield Pumpkin", which is a caramel brown. The colors go well together. The only problem was that lots of the cracks are showing through in the walls.

So, we go back to the paint store on Sunday with the idea of sponging to make the darker cracked areas less noticeable. But the paint guy says we should add texture to the wall with some sand paint, which can be made in the "Chestertown Buff" color. Tim thinks this will look cool, and I am too sick to think straight...I just want it done so that I can collapse. So we buy that, get home and get ready to go. Let me tell you this...sand paint is thick! Picture me, the allergy/asthma girl trying to put sand paint on the walls. Yeah, fun...I am pretty sure there was more sand on me than on the walls. Not fun. Also, the trim needed like a gazillion coats. And we discovered that you cannot use painter's tape on a textured wall, so things look, shall we say, "less than perfect". And we recently read on-line how sand paint is incredibly difficult to remove, which did occur to me as we were doing it, but I banished the thought from my mind. A direct quote from Tim: "Looks like our textured wall is going to be a permanent member of our family!"

Since I've been sick, and we figure exposure to Binz and paint is not helpful, Tim worked like a dog on Monday on finishing this, and has worked a few nights this week. I am a little afraid to go in there, but I think Tim has made the executive decision to call it a done deal - unless, Tim says "someone comes in and says 'this really looks like s**t' ". I have to give Tim credit...he's been working so hard and been remarkably patient, expecially since his first choice was painting the room black. I will post pictures once this room is finished. I tried to include a link to the colors, but the BenMoore site is being mean.

Tim is being very kind and letting me put a vanity in that room...my dear friend Carla is giving me a vanity, can you believe that? No, she can't be your best friend, she's mine!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Tim's DTC day gift

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This is the figurine I bought months ago and gave to Tim yesterday...it's called "Father and Daughter". He commented on how struck he was that there would be a little girl looking up to him. And she will!

I am a big fan of the Willow Tree Collection...in fact, it's the only type of knickknack thing I've ever collected!

Congratulations from Family...

Here are some comments from our family:
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Tina, Tim's Sister, Isabella's Aunt, Crookston, MN:

I can imagine how excited you guys are, that is such wonderful news! The
timing may have been slower than you hoped but here it is! Yippy!!
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Todd, Tim's brother and Isabella's guardian & Uncle, Chicago:

Before seeing our DTC day photos:
Wonderful new!!
Congratulations!!
I wish I could be there to see Tammy's face.

After seeing our DTC day photos:

Congratulations, and thanks for the pics!!
I wish I could have been there when you got the good news.
You both look very, very happy.
It's going to happen!!

Your old boy T.
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Karen, Tim's mom and Isabella's Grandma, Crookston, MN:

HOW EXCITING!!! KEEP US UPDATED!!!

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Congratulations from Friends...

Tim and I are very lucky. We have a lot of friends, that are lots of different ages, from lots of different places. I've decided to post all their notes so that one day Isabella can check it all out!

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From Carol Keelty, Portsmouth, RI:

Tammy and Tim - I am SO thrilled to hear this news - eye makeup touchup
needed already and it's barely 6 AM!!! I can only imagine how excited
you are feeling. What a joy it will be for you to be parents. Easily
the most unbelievable thrill in the world and what a fortunate little
girl Bella is that you two will be her parents. I've always known what
a special, wonderful person Tammy is and the more I read your about your
journey together, the more I realize she's found someone just as
special. Thank you for sharing with me. Love, Carol
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From Chris Bobel, Arlington, MA:

YEE HAW!!!!! I am thrilled thrilled thrilled for you! Beaming ear to ear……DTC! You are on your way to parenthood! YEEE HAW!!!!!!!!!

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From Sumeet Rattan, who lives one street over from us in Milton, MA and will have a baby any day now!!!

Congratulations! You are literally in the pregnant phase!
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From Nina Silverstein, Needham, MA:

Congratulations to both of you! This is definitely good news!

Nina
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From John Ruscio in PA:

Congrats, Tammy B-M! This is great news, and your patience is paying
off. I'm so impressed with you and Tim for doing this, it's remarkable
how dedicated you are and I'm sure you're going to be such *wonderful*
parents.

Best,
John
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From John and LaSalette in CHINA to bring home Emma:

Happy DTC from China! Quite the milestone. thanks for sharing.

LaSalette, John, & Emma
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From Martha, Dorchester, MA (who I haven't even met yet, but who also adopting with CAWLI and will be DTC very soon):

Hi Tammy--
So exciting that you are DTC! CONGRATULATIONS!
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From Andy, Johnson City, TN (Andy & Nicole are expecting a baby girl in February):

Tim,
Congratulations Tim---Nicole and I now how long and anxiously you and Tammy have awaited this. Thanks for sending me the information so quickly. I am looking forward to discussing with you the best ways to spoil our daughters.

Andy
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From Kerry Sheehan in MA:

Oh Timmy – that is awesome. I will say my prayers that the process is quick. I am very happy for you and Tammy and I hope things go smoothly for you………DADDYO!!!

K
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From Kathy Curran, Andover, MA:

Tim,
Congratulations ... that's excellent news. It's definitely a long process ... but well worth the wait!!!
You and Tammy should be celebrating more than Halloween tonight!! (I'll be checking for hangovers tomorrow ...)
Kathy

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From Susan, Weston MA (Susan just gave birth to Alexander):

Tammy!! This is such wonderful news!! I am so excited for you - when Bella arrives, she and Alexander will be similar ages and just might have a grip on my life again!!
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From Ayelet in PA:
CONGRATULATIONS, Tammy and Tim, on your "paper pregnancy!" I'm so happy that the bulk of the paperwork is behind you and that you now have a clear sense for when you'll be bringing Bella home. This is an important milestone and I'm just thrilled for you both.
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From Michelle in Washington DC:
Congratulations! I'm actually surprised that you reached this point so quickly...I thought it could take over a year to get approved.
Michelle
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From Julie in Framingham, MA:
Hi Tammy,

Congratulations!!! I am so happy for both of you. I know how much you've been waiting for this. I'm so glad your new baby will be coming home soon. The time will go by quickly, and before you know it you will have a beautiful girl in your home.

Love,
Julie
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Tammy & Tim,

We are so happy for you! Kids are the best. It won't be long now.

I love what i have seen of your blog, and will be able to keep up with your
latest developments. We know several couples who adopted from China. I
finally added some newer photos to Amelia's website (check it out below).

How is the house shaping up, and Bella's room? We look forward to
introducing Amelia to Bella the next time we meet up.

Matt Brown
http://www.henleybrown.com
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The online adoption community

I want to take a moment to say how grateful I am to the Internet and all the wonderful people out there in the adoption community. In addition to congratulations from family and friends, look at what we have received:
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Tammy,

Congrats!!! That's so very exciting!!!!

Hugs,
Anneli
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Tammy!!


OMG, I am SOOOOOO happy for you! I just read your post on LCC and I can't stop smiling!!!
This is a great way to start my day!!!! I thought I kept seeing a ray of sunshine through all the rain clouds yesterday, it was just you beaming from ear to ear!!!!!!!!
What a relief! You must be walking on cloud nine!!!! Just think next Aug or Sept Isabella will be in your arms and you will be the most proud mommy ever!!
YOU ARE OFFICIALLY PAPER PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS GIRL!!!

Blessings,
Dawn
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Congratulations to Tammy and Tim being DTC, What a great feeling!



Samantha
DH Joe
DS Cameron
DS Andrew
DD Lilly DTC 10/14/05
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Tammy, Congrats! I've been wondering about your progress since you
moved from the DC area (at least I think this is you). Glad you got
through all that red tape with USCIS!!

Kristi
LID 10/26
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Tammy,

I am so EXCITED for you! Congratulations! Hopefully we will be right
behind you ( planning on being DTC Friday, Lord willing)!

Shannon
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Tammy and Tim

CONGRATULATIONS! That didn't take too long!!!! What a great Halloween for you guys!

Kerry and Bill
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Way to go Tim & Tammy!

Now, deep cleansing breath....... !!!

Alyson in TX
Awesome DH Brett
DD Piper - 4 (domestic adoption)
DD Paris - 2.75 (miracle bio)
and waiting for DD Paige, somewhere in China
GWCA
DTC 9/30/05 LID 10/26/05
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Yeah Tammy!:-)

I'm sure we'll be traveling together then b/c we were just DTC 6 days
ago and will probably be bumped to the Nov. CAWLI travel group (even
though I'm already getting to know the Oct. group...)

I'm w/ Oct. & Nov. as well since we're "in between".

Traci
DH Chris
TX
CAWLI
DTC 10/25/05
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Congratulations, Tammy! How wonderful!

What a great feeling it must be.

In Christ,

Kristina
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Congratulations to you both on your DTC. Now come on LID.
Mendy Parmer
Chip dh
Jacob ds
DTC 7-22-05
LID 8-8-05
FHSA
our story
www.celebrateadoption.com/journeytojoleigh
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Tammy,

Congratulations!!!!! Your email made me remember the feeling we had when we
were DTC a year ago last June - it had taken us so long; problems with
health info, almost every document required had to be redone, etc.; it took us 6 -
7 months or more, but we were finally DTC!!!! In fact, in a week it will be 1
year that we got our referral. I pray these next few months fly by for you. I think the holidays and business of the season will make it seem shorter
- it did for us. All I could think that by Christmas we would have our baby
- we got them on the 19th and spent Christmas in Nanchang with Kate. I am so
excited and happy for you - I pray the easier part of waiting (at least it
was for me), will fly by and Isabella will be with you even sooner than you
expect!

God Bless You,


Maggie
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Congratulations, Tammy & Tim!
We're so glad for you. Next step...LID!
Kel
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Congratulations Tammy! I hope your child is home very soon.

carol (mom to Kasja Na Kyung and Teagan Jing)
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With the exception of Kerry and Bill, I've never met any of these people! But they all get it, and for that I am so grateful!!!

Another little something for Bella...

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Halloween was special not only because we became DTC, but also because I received a doll that I had gotten through an auction for the Half the Sky Foundation...check out their link on the sidebar at the left. She's called Magnolia and she has a red thread in her pocket!

Some random weekend activities..

Well, I thought yesterday I would be posting about random weekend activities, but it was A LOT more exciting than that! I am still on cloud nine!

Anyway, now that the best news is out there, I thought I'd return to our normal, boring life and share some random pictures from the weekend. I finally resolved my digital camera situation, so I am back in business with endless photos!

We had our chimney inspected and cleaned on Saturday morning, so Saturday night we had out first fire:

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I love this firescreen, which I bought from Smith and Hawken.

Sunday I got up very early with the dogs, but didn't last long after I started reading the Sunday Boston Globe:
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Buca and Tim have a very productive Sunday afternoon on the couch watching TV. Tim did rake leaves for 4 hours on Saturday morning. I am not sure what Buca did!

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And Indie needs no narrative...she's just my baby and so cute...

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